Today we interrupt our regular programming to bring you the latest from the all-important world of… SPORT. (You can expect occasional Dispatches of this nature.)
We love sports, don’t you? They shed light on so much of what makes us human. They’re our sublimated version of the gladiators or, like, war. They bring people together – from different walks of life, different places – and, when the best are playing, sports offer a glimpse of what high achievement looks like: focus, single-mindedness, flow state.
Sports are also fun. And, right now, there happen to be a lot of interesting sporting events going on around the world, poised for climax. Here’s a preview of what we’ve got to look forward to, whether you’ve been following every possession or want to get tuned in right when the stakes are highest.
The 2020 European Championship
One year later, the European Championship (the Euros) is set up for a delicious finale. The round of 16, the first knockout round, saw several heavyweights fall (France, Germany, Portugal, Netherlands), and for those who like a good underdog, there’s plenty to choose from (Denmark or England, for example). All matches are on ESPN. Here are the quarterfinal matchups:
Spain v. Switzerland
July 2, 12:00 EST (St. Petersburg)
This will be a good one. The Swiss are coming in hot after upsetting the up-until-now tournament favorites, France. And Spain, though a far cry from the side of their glory days a decade ago, may finally be recovering from post-trophy collapse disorder. In the last round, they beat a Croatia side who had made it to the 2018 World Cup Final, and people forget that Azpilicueta is a Chelsea legend who just won a Champions League, that Busquets is arguably the GOAT CDM, and that Koke is a deadly cocktail of technique and Simeone grinder.
Ones to watch: Seferovic, Pedri, Koke
Hot take: Xhaka should not be playing soccer
Prediction: 2-1 Spain
Italy v. Belgium
July 2, 3:00 EST (Munich)
This is the biggest game of the next round, featuring perhaps the best teams remaining. It’s a shame that Belgium’s two stars, Eden Hazard and Kevin de Bruyne, both went off injured in the last game against Portugal and that neither looks fit for tomorrow. Still, Belgium have a formidable backbone with their Tottenham backline, Witsel and Tielemans in the middle, and Lukaku up front. Italy, meanwhile, has become everyone’s favorite team of the Euros that no one rated before the tournament began. They didn’t concede a goal over three games in group play, then faced a stiff test against Austria in the round of 16 and rose to the occasion, barely. They’re playing exciting, attack-minded football [sic], and look like the favorites to win it all. The winner of this one will take on the winner of Spain - Switzerland in the semis.
Ones to watch: Immobile, Lukaku, Insigne, Thorgan Hazard, Spinazzola
Hot take: Marco Verratti will be the best player on the field
Prediction: 1-1, Italy on pens (because they don’t lose on pens)
Denmark v. Czech Republic
July 3, 12:00 EST (Baku)
Who knows? Denmark look pretty nice after a rousing 4-0 defeat of Bale’s Wales. Bale’s Wales, Bale’s Wales… ha, poor suckers should hit the links. But this game is anyone’s because the Czech just stunned the Netherlands in the last round (albeit with the help of a red card), and Patrik Schick, the Czech no. 10, looks red hot. We can also expect a solid battle in the midfield between Premier League warriors Pierre-Emile Hojbjerg (Danish) and Tomas Soucek (Czech).
Ones to watch: Schick, Dolberg, Soucek
Hot take: The winner will make it to the final
Prediction: 3-1 to the Czechs
England v. Ukraine
July 3, 3:00 EST (Rome)
Is it finally coming home?? At last?! There’s a long way to go, England fans, but it’s good to be happy about what was a huge 2-0 victory against perennial juggernaut Germany in the round of 16. It’s simply a game that England does not normally win. But they did. Yes, Southgate’s an idiot for not starting Grealish or playing Sancho and many other things, but the results are coming and there is belief. Last time, in the 2018 World Cup semis, mighty Croatia stood in their way. England will need to be better this time around. Ukraine somehow eked out of their group with two losses and drew Sweden in the last round, but they have nothing to lose against the (historically) psychologically unstable Englishmen. This’ll be interesting.
Ones to watch: Grealish, Kane, Zinchenko
Hot take: Phillips’ nickname of “the Yorkshire Pirlo” is fully deserved
Prediction: 4-0 England
The 2021 Copa America
The Copa America, for anyone who doesn’t watch soccer, is the equivalent of the Euros in South America. In other words: a lot less organized, and, in some cases, a lot more entertaining. Also, it features Brazil and Argentina, the countries who have historically produced the world’s most exciting talent. Games are on FS1, and Covid-y Brazil is hosting.
Peru v. Paraguay
July 2, 5:00 EST
Peru’s looking good: they finished second in their group behind Brazil, and their winger Andre Carrillo has two goals to his name. Paraguay finished third in their group, finishing behind and losing to Uruguay and Argentina. Their midfielder Angel Romero has two goals; unfortunately, former Atlanta United and now Newcastle United player Miguel Almiron went off injured in their last game.
Ones to watch: Almiron (if fit), Romero, Carrillo
Prediction: 3-1 Peru
Brazil v. Chile
July 2, 8:00 EST
Brazil are the tournament favorites, they nearly always are. And for good reason. Their bench is almost as strong as their starting XI, and their starting XI is strong. Neymar, Silva, Casemiro, Marquinhos, Jesus, Fabinho, Firmino — you name it. Chile are looking a shadow of their former selves (who won a few recent Copa Americas), and they finished fourth in their group with only one win from four games (two ties and a loss).
Ones to watch: Neymar, Vargas, Vidal, Casemiro
Prediction: 3-0 Brazil
Uruguay v. Colombia
July 3, 6:00 EST
This is the most evenly matched game of the quarters. Uruguay finished second in their group behind Argentina, and their aging strikeforce of Suarez and Cavani is still legendary enough to inspire fear. Bentancur and Valverde are also good, young midfielders at top European clubs, and there are worse backlines than Godin and Gimenez. Colombia finished third in their group with only one win, but they gave Brazil a run for their money in a nail-biter that also featured the goal of the tournament so far from Luis Diaz. Yerry Mina and Davinson Sanchez form another solid centerback pairing at the opposite end.
Ones to watch: Cavani, Suarez, Cuadrado, Mina
Prediction: 2-1 Uruguay
Argentina v. Ecuador
July 3, 9:00 EST
Argentina are finally solid at the back, they’ve gone 17 games unbeaten (or something like that), but they’re Argentina. Could they finally go all the way? Could Messi break his trophy-less drought for the Albiceleste? It could very well be the year, knock on wood. They’re looking meh in offense, but they’re getting the results. And the belief and vibes seem to be there. Ecuador, meanwhile, eked into the quarters with zero wins, three ties, and one loss in their group. (The Copa’s a weird format this year with two groups of five and the top four from each going through.) They’ll be aiming for another tie, perhaps, and penalties.
Ones to watch other than Messi: Aguero, Preciado, Papu Gomez, Paredes
Prediction: 2-0 Argentina
The NBA Finals
Yes, yes, American sports, too. While we all know Adam Silver’s already fixed the finals, this year’s playoffs are much more entertaining than last year’s in the bubble, in part because the three teams left have won the championship never (the Suns), once in ‘71 (the Bucks), and once in ‘58 (the Hawks).
One finalist was decided last night, thanks to Chris Paul’s 41 points: the Phoenix Suns, out of the West. They beat the Kawhi-less Clippers in six, and they’ll be playing the winner of Bucks - Hawks in the Finals, which, at 2-2, is far from being decided. Regardless of who comes out of the East, it looks to us like the championship is the Suns’ to lose.
Milwaukee Bucks v. Atlanta Hawks
Eastern Conference Final, Game 5 tonight, 8:30 EST
With the series tied 2-2 and both teams’ young superstars out injured (Giannis Antetokounmpo and Trae Young), it’s looking like anyone’s series. A source close to the talking heads tells me:
“Budenholzer’s [Bucks coach] inadequacies may be exposed by Giannis-dependencia. The Hawks came out of nowhere and are making a deep playoff run due to squad depth, Trae Young, and coaching. McMillan [Hawks coach] took over midway through the year and renovated the squad, changing their defense from a bottom 5 defense to a top 10 in the league.”
Ones to watch: Middleton, Holiday, Collins, Capela
Prediction: Atlanta in 7
That’s all for now, dear readers. Happy viewing and — if you get inspired — playing!